First off, let me say this, I absolutely love my husband. I love my children, and I thank God everyday for blessing me with the family He has given me. They are the biggest reason that I’m doing this. Who wants to be around their mom or wife when she’s stressed out and unhappy ALL THE TIME!?
All that said, about a year ago or so, I realized I wasn’t happy. Not with my life. I wasn’t happy with myself. My husband has been urging me for years to find an outlet, but I couldn’t think of anything. I’m not crafty, not even a little. And because I absolutely suck at crafts, I usually end up getting beyond frustrated and very stressed out by them. They almost never turn out. And working a full time job AND being a mom of two very active children, reading really isn’t an option. I mean, I can’t even get a moment alone to pee, let alone read a book and be able to pay attention.
So, I started trying to take care of my appearance. I thought that maybe, if I felt more like a woman, not just a mom, I would be happy with myself again. I had gotten into a habit of not wearing makeup and barely brushing my hair. I would wash it, dry it, and put it up in a ponytail. (And yes, I know that makeup doesn’t make you beautiful. ) My first step was to start wearing makeup more often than not, and trying style my hair. The makeup was easy.. I live in Southeast Texas (#humid) so the hair is still a challenge. I’m learning to embrace the curls though.
My second step was to go back to Camp Gladiator. I really like a good workout, especially in a group and slightly competitive setting. (More on this later.) Over the last 10 years or so, I’ve gained about 60lbs. Not good. So, getting the pounds off is a necessity as I’m now about 80lbs overweight. I went back to CG in June of 2018. I went multiple times a week and my energy and outlook on life was better. In August 2018, I was diagnosed with Insulin Resistance (a form of type 2 diabetes) and it was causing me not to lose weight. Started the correct meds, eating right for a diabetic and the pounds started melting off. Then in September 2018, I had to have gallbladder surgery. That took the wind out of my sails, and completely derailed me. It took much longer than I expected to heal and get my energy levels back.
Fast forward to Feb/March 2019. I’m still not happy with myself, because between September and then, I had gotten lazy again. I decide to go back to CG again! This time I was derailed by a massive fire at a tank farm nearby as well as the fact that my youngest daughter and I passed around walking pneumonia to each other.
I finally started feeling better and went back to CG last week. I’m getting my nutrition in order and am ready to make some progress.
Recently, I was told to do what makes me happy. Well, although I’m not very good at sports, I’ve been at my happiest with myself, when I’m living an athletic lifestyle. So, in addition to CG (I signed up for the CG Games in July!!!), I’ve also joined the co-ed softball team with my company!
The scale does not define me.. but.. in full disclosure, at the time of this post, I am 5’2″ tall, 229.5lbs, and wear size 16-18 depending on brand.
This is my journey. I hope this blog will serve as a source of accountability for me, as well as maybe also a source of encouragement for someone else who may stumble across this.
Good Fit 82 